Wednesday, February 3, 2010


Win win situation

Good afternoon master toastmasters n fellow toast masters

I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me. You too can win arguments. Simply follow these rules

Get drunka

Suppose you are at a party and some hotshot intellectual is expounding on the economy of Peru, a subject you know nothing about.

If you're drinking some health-fanatic drink like grapefruit juice, you'll hang back, afraid to display your ignorance, while the hotshot enthralls your date.

But if you drink several large martinis, you'll discover you have STRONG VIEWS about the Peruvian economy. You'll be a WEALTH of information. You'll argue forcefully, offering searing insights and possibly upsettin furniture People will be impressed. Some may leave the room.

Make things up

Suppose, in the Peruvian economy argument, you are trying to prove that Peruvians are underpaid, a position you base solely on the fact that YOU are underpaid, and you'll be damned if you're going to let a bunch of Peruvians be better off. DON'T say: "I think Peruvians are underpaid." Say instead: "The average Peruvian's salary in 1981 dollars adjusted for the revised tax base is $1,452.81 per annum, which is $836.07 before the mean gross poverty level."

NOTE: Always make up exact figures.

If an opponent asks you where you got your information, make THAT up too. Say: "This information comes from Dr. Hovel T. Moon's study for the Buford Commission published on May 9, 1982. Didn't you read it?" Say this in the same tone of voice you would use to say, "You left your soiled underwear in my bathroom."

Use meaningless but weighty-sounding words and phrases.

Memorize this list:

  • Let me put it this way
  • In terms of
  • Vis-a-vis
  • Per se
  • As it were
  • Qua
  • So to speak

You should also memorize some Latin abbreviations such as "Q.E.D.", "e.g.", and "i.e." These are all short for "I speak Latin, and you don't."

Here's how to use these words and phrases. Suppose you want to say, "Peruvians would like to order appetizers more often, but they don't have enough money." You never win arguments talking like that. But you WILL win if you say, "Let me put it this way. In terms of appetizers vis-à-vis Peruvians qua Peruvians, they would like to order them more often, so to speak, but they do not have enough money per se, as it were. Q.E.D."

Only a fool would challenge that statement.

Use snappy and irrelevant comebacks

fire back at your opponents when they make valid points.

  • You're begging the question.
  • You're being defensive.
  • Don't compare apples to oranges.
  • What are your parameters?

This last one is especially valuable. Nobody (other than engineers and policy wonks) has the vaguest idea what "parameters" means. Don't forget the classic: YOU'RE SO LINEAR.

Here's how to use

You say: As Abraham Lincoln said in 1873...
Your opponent says: Lincoln died in 1865.
You say: You're begging the question.

You say: Liberians, like most Asians...
Your opponent says: Liberia is in Africa.
You say: You're being defensive.

Bring Hitler up

This is d bomb, for when your opponent is obviously right and you are spectacularly wrong. Bring Hitler up subtly. Say, "That sounds suspiciously like something Adolf Hitler might say," or "You certainly do remind me of Adolf Hitler."

These r my ways of winning an argument but are these ur ways of winning its easy to win arguments bulldozing and thrashing people but in this process are v winning there hearts r u being true and logical. Tm s the best way of winning an argument so to loose do u do this??

Listen patiently paraphrase empathize

There are many more such means like the best way to win a mans heart is through his stomach... a woman’s heart is by giving her a bunch of roses and a child s heart a chocolate but tm have I won this argument with u…

Master toastmaster


  1. Wow. Let me put it this way, in terms of winning an argument per se, you are the best! And your Hindi is excellent too:)

    I can't have enough.

    Thank you for visiting, do dropby again.

  2. have talent :) And great knowledge !
    i write for a fashion blog- think you should follow me

  3. chi chi chi
    i could not believe you copy pasted the entire thing from another website.
    not expected from a smart ass like you
    i found out cos i remembered reading it in a different blog and when i googled it out this same "Essay" was everywhere.
    please dont tell me that they copy pasted from your blog as thier blogs are way older than yours.
    still nice try good work doin CCP(cut, copy and Paste)liked to read it

  4. hey thanks everyone!!! ill surely keep a track of u ppl toooo..
    @ rahul.. its copied indeed..... but if u cum to c d good part it.. no one can ever guess... n tis was wit a powerpoint wen i tld it... so it quite well balances it.... dont u think??

  5. copied or not, it sure made me laugh out loud!!! hilarious!!

  6. thanks.... its hilarious indeed... sum ppl dont understan.. too criticisin,.. but its ok.. i take it in ryt spirit!!!

  7. Amazing post..enjoyed it...Some points are so good...I mean very nice post...and the special part was the ending that this is not the way u can win hearts...