Wednesday, February 3, 2010

THIS WAS MY 7TH TOASTMASTER SPPECH,.....

Win win situation

Good afternoon master toastmasters n fellow toast masters

I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me. You too can win arguments. Simply follow these rules

Get drunka

Suppose you are at a party and some hotshot intellectual is expounding on the economy of Peru, a subject you know nothing about.

If you're drinking some health-fanatic drink like grapefruit juice, you'll hang back, afraid to display your ignorance, while the hotshot enthralls your date.

But if you drink several large martinis, you'll discover you have STRONG VIEWS about the Peruvian economy. You'll be a WEALTH of information. You'll argue forcefully, offering searing insights and possibly upsettin furniture People will be impressed. Some may leave the room.

Make things up

Suppose, in the Peruvian economy argument, you are trying to prove that Peruvians are underpaid, a position you base solely on the fact that YOU are underpaid, and you'll be damned if you're going to let a bunch of Peruvians be better off. DON'T say: "I think Peruvians are underpaid." Say instead: "The average Peruvian's salary in 1981 dollars adjusted for the revised tax base is $1,452.81 per annum, which is $836.07 before the mean gross poverty level."

NOTE: Always make up exact figures.

If an opponent asks you where you got your information, make THAT up too. Say: "This information comes from Dr. Hovel T. Moon's study for the Buford Commission published on May 9, 1982. Didn't you read it?" Say this in the same tone of voice you would use to say, "You left your soiled underwear in my bathroom."

Use meaningless but weighty-sounding words and phrases.

Memorize this list:

  • Let me put it this way
  • In terms of
  • Vis-a-vis
  • Per se
  • As it were
  • Qua
  • So to speak

You should also memorize some Latin abbreviations such as "Q.E.D.", "e.g.", and "i.e." These are all short for "I speak Latin, and you don't."

Here's how to use these words and phrases. Suppose you want to say, "Peruvians would like to order appetizers more often, but they don't have enough money." You never win arguments talking like that. But you WILL win if you say, "Let me put it this way. In terms of appetizers vis-à-vis Peruvians qua Peruvians, they would like to order them more often, so to speak, but they do not have enough money per se, as it were. Q.E.D."

Only a fool would challenge that statement.

Use snappy and irrelevant comebacks

fire back at your opponents when they make valid points.

  • You're begging the question.
  • You're being defensive.
  • Don't compare apples to oranges.
  • What are your parameters?

This last one is especially valuable. Nobody (other than engineers and policy wonks) has the vaguest idea what "parameters" means. Don't forget the classic: YOU'RE SO LINEAR.

Here's how to use

You say: As Abraham Lincoln said in 1873...
Your opponent says: Lincoln died in 1865.
You say: You're begging the question.

You say: Liberians, like most Asians...
Your opponent says: Liberia is in Africa.
You say: You're being defensive.

Bring Hitler up

This is d bomb, for when your opponent is obviously right and you are spectacularly wrong. Bring Hitler up subtly. Say, "That sounds suspiciously like something Adolf Hitler might say," or "You certainly do remind me of Adolf Hitler."

These r my ways of winning an argument but are these ur ways of winning its easy to win arguments bulldozing and thrashing people but in this process are v winning there hearts r u being true and logical. Tm s the best way of winning an argument so to loose one.how do u do this??

Listen patiently paraphrase empathize

There are many more such means like the best way to win a mans heart is through his stomach... a woman’s heart is by giving her a bunch of roses and a child s heart a chocolate but tm have I won this argument with u…

Master toastmaster

THE STREET PLAY

Nukkad natak

Opening scene:

MADARI: aaiye meherbaan kadardaan ,haazir aapke saamne ...bandar ... ki naach........yeh wohi karta hai jo mein use karne keliye kehta hu....”guttu gulathi maar...maar gulathi....maar guttu ......ahh dekha aapne guttu kaisa gulathi marta hai.....

Ab guttu yeh bata gandhiji kya kehte hai.....dekho.....guttu dar raha.....guttu...dar raha......woh yeh keh raha hai kii....kiii.........”

B: ladies & gentlemen...SBJMC-CMS presents to you their NUkKAD natak

Madari“burai se mat daro”

Reporter(r)cameraman(c)wrestlers

R:goodmorning its a bright sunny morning....aur mein khada hoon.....hamare world famous “akhade” mein jaha..mere right side mein khade.hai....Mr.RIGHT aur left side mein khade hai Mr.WRONG....dono ek dusre ko ek dusre ki khoon peene ki dhamki.....dete hue ......fight chaalu...karte..hai....(dishoom dishoom#!@@!# )

Oh my god...haila.....Mr.right seems to be taking over mr wrong.......and...the WINNER IS ..MR.right!!!!!!

C: aapne toh suna hi hoga...kii..’ acchai ki hi jeet hoti’

D:hahhhaaaaa............yeh sab kitabo ki baatein......burai...kii hamesha jeet hoti...hai..yakeen nahi...chalo.dikhata....hoon Pehle dekho toh....aaj is sheher mein kaun aaya...

E: Am i new to this city...???kya iss sheher ke liye mein ajnabee hoon....HAHAHHHH.........main iss sheher main kya, poori duniya main phella hoon..main tum sab mein basa hoon.....tujme ,tujhme...(pointing to the audience).........

har pal..kadam kadam par...main tumhare saath chalta hoon.

.bhaag nahi sakte tum mujhse

main tumhare hi andar palta hoon........

Naam hai mera BHAY...kaam hai mera tum sabko darana...

Taaki na kar sakoge tum burai ka saamna.....hahahah!!!!

Mr.right :galat bilkul galat.....burai ka saamna kar sakte hai hum..

Tumko, dar ko..milkar hara sakte hain..

Song (aa dekhe zara ...kism kitna hai dum...jumke rakna kadam mere saathiya)....

(Gals tied up)

G1:nahi nahi reh sakti in chaar diwaron mein keid..baahar nikalna chahti hu mein.

G2:thak gai huun ghar saaf karte karte ....ab khule asmaan meiin udhna chahti hoon mein

G3:apne peiron par khada hona chahti hoon.....

All gals:we want freedom we want freedom.......!!!!!!!

All men surround :

BHAY:dekho...kya yeh burai nahi...dekho unki dar se kaapte hue chehro ko....haha

Mr.right:utho jaago..apne haq keliye lado...burai ka saamna karo “burai se mat daro”

Gals push men away

G1:hume ladna chahiye....apne haq ke liye

G2:Apne..aazaadi ke liye

G3:apne bhavishya ke liye......

(Drum beat)

...immeditely switch to riot scene

Reporter:poora sheher dange phasad mein bhid gayi hai

Anath ke dard bhari cheekhei

Khoon se range hue raaste

Hazaron ghar aag mein lipti hui

Kaun zimmedaar hai is athyachaar ke liye....

Police hai shikaar main saboot ke

Par darte hai log bhay ke bhoot se

Scene:

Mr wrong:

“har koi zimmedar hai iskeliye

Kis par ungli uthaoge tum

Bhay:arre kaise uthayenge yeh ungli nahi poori hogi unki khwahish

Kar diya hai ‘maine’ ,bhay ne unko apahij!!

Agar zindagi hai tumhare liye pyaarii

Toh chup rehna hi hai samajdhari”

Mr.right:kya haq banta hai aapko hamara haq cheenein ka

Kyo jine de unko jinhone cheena hai hamari zindagi humse

Uthao apni awaaz ,karo burai ka saamna

Agar dar gaye to nahi hogi anyay milne kii sambhavna”

Burai se mat daro ...aage badho aage badho......

R:”logon kii madat se police un papiyo ko pakadne mein saphal ho gayi hai

burai ka saamna karne ka yahi to phal hai!!!

(Song )” beech sadak mein haath pakad ke ghume ladka ladki.....chorus:hai ram hai ram

Arre beech sadak mein haath pakad ke ghume ladka ladki

Na sharam hai na haya hai ye hai yuvak aaj ke.

Kya karoge kidhar jaoge ... gher liya hai tumko

Yeh western cultureki nakal sweekar nahi hai humko

Chorus:Sweekar nahi hai humko....sweekar nahi hai humko!!!!”

Bhay:

Mr.right: darke maare jaan jayegi pyaare..

Jina hai apni zindagi tod sab deeware

Boy: kaun ho tum kaha se aaye

hai kya naam tumhara

logo ko bhadkana azzadi chinna kya yahi hai kaam tumhara

uthali hai lathi ab kar do humpe vaar

Hum bhi hai jawab dene ko taiyaar

Haann haan hum bhi hai taiyaar..... hum bhi hai taiyaar!!!!!!!